So the name of this blog is 'Chasing The Dream' so I bet you're wondering; what is the dream? Well my dream initially was to become a successful and famous actor, but recently that has changed. The dream now is to do what I love for a living; I want to perform and do nothing else.
George Burns once said 'I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate'. Once I heard that, it hit me hard; I don't care how successful I am, or how many people know about me, just as long as I never stop doing what I love. If I work hard then sure enough a by-product will be that success and fame.
So the dream I'm chasing, is to do what I'm doing now for the rest of my life; Perform, create, showcase and give. Of course I have smaller dreams, like finding a wife, helping my family, helping people in need and others. I'm confident that if I work hard and push through obstacles in my way then all those dreams will become reality and I will have achieved self actualisation.
Saturday 15 June 2013
Friday 14 June 2013
My School Story
So, here it is, the ending of an era as it were. I am officially leaving the dreary world secondary education. And it's amazing, or so I thought up until I started to leave. I was so excited to leave and become an adult, but then once we left, I thought to myself, well what now? I found that once I had left the daily routine of school my days were long and empty. My friends started working during the day, leaving me to find other ways to entertain myself.
One thing I found myself doing was thinking back on all the people that have come and gone in my life, all because I saw a photo of a friend on Instagram. Then whilst looking through these people, I noticed one thing, I have no one still with me from when I started this journey 7 years ago. The reason for this is because I changed school for the sixth form, and after that I lost contact with those people, of whom I loved like my own family, and it killed me inside, I became quite depressed, but I didn't let anyone see me hurt, not even my family, I kept up my shield and acted like everything was fine, even though I was dying inside. Dark thoughts would swim around my mind when I lay awake at night, and would haunt me every second of the day. Then I found a new group of friends and honestly they were my salvation; they created a better me, and they don't know because I have to this day never told anyone about those days.
My school life wasn't all like that though, I have had some of the best times of my life at school, at both schools and those memories are mostly happy ones. Of course I made mistakes, smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, fighting and bullying. That last one is the one I regret the most, but I am being completely honest here and yes it's true, I did bully a few people, but in the long run I grew up and became anti-bullying in a strong manner. I have been bullied myself at points and yes I have shed tears, of which I'm not ashamed to admit, because say what you will, real men are those who have access to emotions.
So school has taught me a lot, which makes it scarier going into the big wide world because if I don't know something now, then I have to learn on the go without any safety net. I also worry that leaving my friends again my send me into some form of relapse of depression, which could end up badly in a world where alcohol and drugs are available, but I feel that I am stronger now. Of course I'm scared, but I'm also excited for what the future holds. And I'm going to try my best to meet new friends and hold onto my current ones. I know that holding on is sometimes a bad thing, but in this case i think it is for the best that I hold on, if not for a little longer.
This is the first time I have opened up about some of these things and I have been 100% honest, because it is time I released those demons and got some closure. If you have read this I thank you for your time and if you have a similar story I'd love to hear it.
One thing I found myself doing was thinking back on all the people that have come and gone in my life, all because I saw a photo of a friend on Instagram. Then whilst looking through these people, I noticed one thing, I have no one still with me from when I started this journey 7 years ago. The reason for this is because I changed school for the sixth form, and after that I lost contact with those people, of whom I loved like my own family, and it killed me inside, I became quite depressed, but I didn't let anyone see me hurt, not even my family, I kept up my shield and acted like everything was fine, even though I was dying inside. Dark thoughts would swim around my mind when I lay awake at night, and would haunt me every second of the day. Then I found a new group of friends and honestly they were my salvation; they created a better me, and they don't know because I have to this day never told anyone about those days.
My school life wasn't all like that though, I have had some of the best times of my life at school, at both schools and those memories are mostly happy ones. Of course I made mistakes, smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, fighting and bullying. That last one is the one I regret the most, but I am being completely honest here and yes it's true, I did bully a few people, but in the long run I grew up and became anti-bullying in a strong manner. I have been bullied myself at points and yes I have shed tears, of which I'm not ashamed to admit, because say what you will, real men are those who have access to emotions.
So school has taught me a lot, which makes it scarier going into the big wide world because if I don't know something now, then I have to learn on the go without any safety net. I also worry that leaving my friends again my send me into some form of relapse of depression, which could end up badly in a world where alcohol and drugs are available, but I feel that I am stronger now. Of course I'm scared, but I'm also excited for what the future holds. And I'm going to try my best to meet new friends and hold onto my current ones. I know that holding on is sometimes a bad thing, but in this case i think it is for the best that I hold on, if not for a little longer.
This is the first time I have opened up about some of these things and I have been 100% honest, because it is time I released those demons and got some closure. If you have read this I thank you for your time and if you have a similar story I'd love to hear it.
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